It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Randomize
