can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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