i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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