maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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