You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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