Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's always time for handjobs
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
