Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
