and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i think i just lost a toe
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
