Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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