We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
