I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
