i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
