I'm drive I can fine osifer
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
