I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
