it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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