i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
