best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
