Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
