Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
