the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
