mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
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The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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