So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So many bounce houses so little time
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
