I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
