I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
