the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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