what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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