I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
