Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wish my penis had an off switch
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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