I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
