38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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