Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
