I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize