Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
