he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He shit in the fireplace
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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