oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
