we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
