I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
