So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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