Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
