this beer tastes like vomit already
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
