It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
