the day after is always just damage control
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize