i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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