I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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