THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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