Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He passed out mid-signature
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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