ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
