Sry I called you an 8
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
