Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize