He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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