I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
