Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
