thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
