i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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