He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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