my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
