It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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