Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Randomize
