i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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