giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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