i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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