what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
